It all depends on which stage of the process you get a client; if they just caught their significant other in bed with someone else the day before they’ll be distraught and angry; their emotions will be all over the place; the most challenging aspect then is to keep their emotions intact and keep them on course with their issues, as opposed to becoming distracted with things that don’t matter. Sometimes, they don’t know what matters and what doesn’t, so you have to sit here and guide the discussion, listening to them carefully and guiding the discussion to where you need to go so that you can help them out whether it’s worth a house, a real property, automobiles, bank accounts, furniture, furnishings, those types of things.
How Long Does a Divorce Case Potentially Last?
The sky’s the limit; it depends on the types of issues that have to be worked through, such as waiting for a piece of property to sell or waiting for a business valuation to be completed, or the length of time it takes for specific experts or professionals to value something so the attorneys and the parties can talk about it. In California, you won’t be divorced for sure until at least six months from the date of filing, because the state has a six-month cooling off period and attorneys have no control over it.
Therefore, it will take a minimum of six months, assuming the parties can come to an agreement and get those agreements filed and approved by the court. Sometimes, the court will post-date the divorce decree. When I do uncontested divorces, we get all the paperwork done and we’ll get the divorce decree back in the mail before that date has come, and the parties just need to know they cannot get remarried until the date on the paperwork saying their divorce is final.
What if a Spouse Alimony or Child Support Money isn’t Being Used for the “Right Things?”
Typically, men pay the child support or alimony. The problem is, the payer spouse needs to realize that once they separate and live in separate dwellings, the amount needed to sustain two households is roughly twice as much as sustaining one, or close to it. Men lose control over what the wives spend the child support monies on and sometimes they don’t like it. In California, it doesn’t matter; the payer spouse has no say whatsoever in what the spousal support and child support is used for.
How Can One Avoid Things From Getting Ugly in a Divorce?
My job in counseling clients is to try to be the calming factor in what they’re going through; to put them at ease and let them know I have the case under control. When things get ugly, typically, it’s basically because you’ve got an out of control client who is doing things that could potentially be against the law, like violating automatic temporary restraining orders, or selling property, canceling insurance, or emptying bank accounts.
Those are the types of things that make divorces ugly. The feuding between the respective sides is also a factor, whether it be their family members or their brothers and sisters. The expression, “Blood is thicker than water” is sometimes true and sometimes not; it depends on how reasonable or unreasonable these people are when going through the process. The people who make divorces ugly are the same ones who have to stand in front of a judge and have them make the decision on who the kids will live with, or how much time they’ll get to spend with each parent.
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